My wife and I were given the opportunity to watch our grandson (21 months old) for a week while my daughter and her husband went off to Europe. We still have thousands (ok, double digits) of kids videos that our five children loved throughout the years. After four or five days of watching the grandson, the Blue’s Clues song was securely stuck in my head. I found myself singing it even in the shower. To make it like it wasn't such a bad thing, I started to think of what Blue's Clues actually teaches us. Then it hit me: Did you know that Blue’s Clues is
actually a communication/teaching tool?
As my pondering grew, I’ve come up with a Gottman flow to the idea and I think others will understand! Facts, given throughout the shows: Blue
and Steve have a good relationship.
Steve wants to understand Blue.
They play this game every day. The process starts with Steve asking Blue what they should do
today. Blue then tries to communicate
her desire through “clues”, not one, or two, but three clues. Steve takes major league interest in these
clues and even writes them down in his handy, dandy notebook. Blue leaves the clues around the house. However, she doesn’t just leave the clues, during
their process, Blue is always involved. Blue and
Steve have others involved too, to help Steve out because, to tell the truth, he just isn’t too
intuitive. After Steve has all the three
clues, he sits down in his “thinking chair” and thinks, thinks,
thinks. “Because when you use your
mind, and take a step at a time, you can do anything, that you want to
do!” Steve then, with the help of
others, picks apart the clues and comes to an understanding of what Blue wants. As he announces his interpretation of what Blue wants to do, Blue gets very excited that Steve understands her and both of them rejoice and they proceed with
their day! The show is not centered around doing what Blue wanted to do, but the process and communication that Steve and Blue have and how Steve is able to (every time) come up with the correct scenario for the day.
So … what can we as couple's learn from
this example:
You have a desire to be
with your partner.
You have a good
attitude.
You play games together.
You pay attention to “clues” your partner is
giving you.
You ask good questions.
You wait to figure out what is desired or
what is going on until you have all the information.
You can invite others to help you understand
(an advertisement for going to therapy when needed!)
The focus is on the relationship.
Even though you come from different backgrounds - you can still communicate and get along well!
Communication can be fun!
